The bitter truth in Indian weddings

The bitter truth in Indian weddings

Indian weddings are the well-known big fat weddings throughout the world. A Party time for others and a burden for the one who has to spend all his savings which he has earned throughout his life. There was a time when people were really excited about the weddings and rather than only concentrating on the food used to give the warm blessings to the couple but today, we hardly even have time to see the bride and groom's faces.

When the invitation comes to us, barely anyone is curious to know about the bride or groom. The only thing that matters is the venue and time. Entreaties of 'You have to come!' and the earnest promise 'Of course, of course!' are exchanged. Sometimes I wonder what is the use of writing so many things like “the mantras”, “doli taron ki chaon mein” and blah blah when everyone is only concerned about the party details.

Ladies encumbered in their heavy ornaments and estimating the cost of the gifts for the bride whereas their consorts debating about the social issues as if they were going to reform the society very next day. What we really anticipate for is the announcement for the dinner. And then starts the race of the rats for food. No one cares to ask the inviter if he or she had something. A huge Pandemonium is created where there is very less chance that your outfit will come back in the same color as it was when you left from home.

I was in an aforementioned wedding last Saturday which was quite luxurious, but there happened something shocking. A man who was well suited was yelling in the crowd only because his name was left during “milini” time (a tradition in which there is a welcome of the groom’s family and usually blankets and money are given to them). I was really disappointed that if he is considering himself to be a wise man, then why he has to fight for a blanket? Left me baffled and amazed at the behavior of people in weddings. I wonder why their expectations jump to double rather than cooperating and helping the couple’s parents.

It’s acceptable that everyone is busy in their daily routines, but the irony comes when people criticize the arrangement thereafter the very next day. If we are really busy, we should be busy in all aspects. How painful it would be for the parents who’ve spent such burdensome amount and still have to face the criticism and that too from their own people.

The dowry era is now endangered, but these lavish weddings are becoming a primary concern for our country. If compared with old times when it used to be a heavenly and delightful moment whereas now it has become a competition among all to show their wealth but “the simple sit-down meals served lovingly on leafy pattals and people actually knowing their invitees is really incomparable”!

A diminishing mother language

Talking of the English Hangover

 

“First get Local and then go GLOBAL”

What is our national language ‘today’? Is it really Hindi? Well if we think precisely, it’s not.

Hindi is the official language of India but we treat Hindi as an inferior language.In today’s fast growing environment where everything is moving towards western culture at a high pace then of course, why not our language.

I was standing in a queue at McDonalds yesterday, when a man in “kurta pyjama” came over there.

Everybody was giving their orders with their different accents in English but he was the only one who said in Hindi. Everyone near to him was stunned as if he has said some other planet’s language.

There is a concept made up in today’s people minds, “the one who is communicating in English is the only one who is ably mannered or, in professionalism the one who is behaving like an Englishmen is the one who is most impeccable. Today in every field English language is beating our mother language terribly.

It’s true that for business we all need an intermediate language like English. “Globalization” is a required one but should we leave “nationalization” for this? People blow the horn of English saying that it is the global language and it’s a way to communicate with the world but I have a question here that if people cannot communicate with their own people then what is the use of communicating with the world. If I don't know the mode of communication with my fellow countrymen then I think it’s utterly useless to think of communicating with the entire world. I agree that English is a global language but “first Get LOCAL and then GO GLOBAL”!!

  

Why do we feel smugness inside us when we are communicating in English? Why in restaurants or good hotels etc. we ignore Hindi? Does it describe us as illiterates?

Is it not like we are again making ourselves slaves under British culture? Even our whole constitution is based on the British constitution. What is the use of having Hindi as a subject in schools when we are not ready to accept it nationally? It’s very traumatic and painful see that the language which was once used as a national language and is the sole and heart of our huge literature and culture is waning this way.

There are many countries like Finland, Germany with less than half a size of India but are still using their own native languages and are doing pretty well. And what is the use of such a rich literature or diversity of languages in India when we have to use another foreign language. Even if we go on statistics and studies English is a much more complex language than Hindi. On the other hand, Hindi is a beautifully crafted language which is much easy to read and understand than English and thus its rich texture and vast literature deserves to be respected.

I know it’s a small effort from my side to change a rampant issue which has acquired our nation, but atleast in our country we need to give first preference to that what is ours. 

Leaving your country is not as easy as it seems.

Leaving India to go abroad has become a common practice these days. People now prefer foreign countries much rather than their own motherland. But what I believe is leaving your nation doesn't really give you everything you need.

No doubt studying overseas has become a fashion these days inside the young generation. From every family in a row you will hear that "my son or daughter is abroad, or he or she is planning to go abroad for higher studies". The changing trends, charm of the western lifestyle, and the craving for money is the main reason behind this migration. There is hardly any one left who thinks that even India could be a better option than these countries, and rather migrating from here it's better to do something within and for our own country. The love for our soil is not like as it was used to be before.

I still remember the time when I was leaving India and going to Australia for my Master’s degree. Although my parents agreed upon my firm decision but the grief of separation was clearly visible in their eyes as I was the only child left behind in house after my elder sister. I was leaving all the friends, relatives behind and the feeling of nervousness was occupying me with every tick of a second. I was going to enter a new world where every face, everything was new to me.

During my final year of studies in Melbourne (2009), there was an atmosphere full of "racial riots". Indians had to suffer a lot and lots of lives were lost. There was violence, assaults everywhere and it was difficult for Indians to even go to a market without fear. I remember the day when my roommate said me a good bye and left for his college and never returned back.  I was totally devastated by the news and was just waiting for the completion of my studies and returning back to my country. I was dying to meet my parents and friends.

The day when I stepped on to the land of India, there I realized how far I was! I was full to the brim with ecstasy. I met my parents and cried loudly embracing them in my arms. One thing more that I realized at that moment was that the relatives are fond of the gifts rather than your arrival. I realized that my country is not that much bad as I used to think about it. In fact today, if you are a real competitor you can get everything you desire in India only.

Leaving your country leads to lots of opportunities but we should always keep in mind that we are entering to a foreign land where there will be no one for us. When you will be sick, you have to be more courageous to bolster yourself. There will be no mother's antidotes and care. No siblings, no friends and a path full of struggle.

Although struggle makes you stronger, but if we can struggle there, then why can't here? Nowadays, in every sector India is booming. If you want to leave your country, think twice or thrice before doing that. You will get money, the prodigal and modish lifestyles, but you will be miles away from the ones who are just constantly thinking about you.

Sadly, not many youngsters have this kind of feeling, but I think if one can do, he or she can do in India also.  Now I am here with my parents and I enjoy almost the every single moment of my life together with them. But what makes me sad sometimes is the death of my roommate which could also have been mine.

Vaibhav Sharma

Vaibhav0333@gmail.com

Spice Of  Life

Life is lifeless without a struggle
It bring pains, but it’s mandatory to make life lively.

During my junior world, I used to do my homework at proper hours thinking about the fact that only after this I can go out to play. When it started with higher classes, the pressure of boards was there with loads of yammering from parents to study, study and just study! We poor children think its going to end after school but then comes the real thunderstorm of admissions ! Now tell me what is the purpose of study when you don't get your favorite college at even 90 % . But it does not only ends here, we make images in our mind that when we go in college we will do the extreme fun as we have exhausted ourselves a lot in our schools.

But as we all know , its just throwing a bait to a fish to get into a bigger trap. College, the dream of every student where he or she thinks that they are going make the every moment special, groovy during this time but the truth is the fact that this is the time when we have to prepare at our best so as to enter our dream lives.  The parents as usual with the same vitality keep on doing their work , “study son , this time is not going to come again , don’t waste your time in other activities “ .

I don’t know why our Bollywood shows this phony image of colleges.

And even after your college, comes the struggle to get a job , and after you get one, there is a tussle to get a managerial level.

But here is the climax, last week during my office I was enrolled in a project which forced me to move my pen for this article . The project was arid, having no use of my skills at all . At first I enjoyed the abatement, but it was not a real gratification.Then I realized the struggle which life has taught me has yielded some really great results. It is now an essential part of my journey. Now I need something that includes efforts and labor.

Life is full of struggle and sufferings, although it takes us a lot but I don’t think we can survive without a combative attitude.

This is the real spice of life from which we all have gone through, but still we have managed to enjoy our lives even after battling with these afflictions. There is no joy to live this life without pouring some struggle in it.

"Everybody has problems, everybody has hard times,
but do we sacrifice all the good times because of them" ?

Vaibhav Sharma

Quote

"i have never learned in my life from those, who always agreed with me"

vaibhav sharma